


The Night Comes Down

by Spread_your_wings02



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: Angst, Brian and Roger are cute together, Brian needs a hug too, Depression, Drug Abuse, Drug Use, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mentions of past abuse, Panic Attacks, Roger needs a hug, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, freddie and John are good friends, insecure, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-20
Updated: 2019-04-15
Packaged: 2019-10-13 08:55:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 19,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17485082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spread_your_wings02/pseuds/Spread_your_wings02
Summary: Queen are just starting to become recognised, and they think everything is going well. That is, until Brian realises Roger is acting different. Suddenly, Brian's life starts spiraling out of control as Roger drifts away from him, so he goes to Freddie and John for help.Will they be able to help Roger or will he drift away so far they won't be able to reach him anymore?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first story so don't be too hard on me :) I hope you like it though.
> 
>  
> 
> *TRIGGER WARNING*  
> If you are triggered by anything that has been mentioned in the tags, I wouldn't recommend reading this.

Brian didn't know when it started. It just sort of happened right under his nose when he wasn’t even aware. He feels kind of stupid. He pulled into the car park and climbed out of his car and sighed. He didn’t know what to expect when he entered his flat. A month ago he would’ve entered to a happy Roger who would cover him in kisses and never let him go. They would talk about how their day had gone and drink tea whilst wrapped in each others arms, and Freddie and John would be sat making gagging noises in the background, which Roger would always respond with a “shut the fuck up” and a laugh. However this hadn’t happened in a while. It just started dwindling out off their lives. Brian was always waiting for Roger when he came home. That’s when he noticed the change. Roger would greet him less and less. It went from being hugs and kisses, to just hugs, and then to just a hello. Sometimes he didn’t even get that. Brian tried, he really did, but Roger always came up with an excuse; he was tired or hungover, or some other crap he could come up with. Brian new something wasn’t right. So today, as he unlocked the door and stepped inside, he waited as usual but realised it was a day when he wouldn’t get anything. It was just silent in the flat. But he new Roger had to be here. There was no where else he could be at this time. 

“Roger?”  
When Brian didn’t get a reply, he decided to look for him. He searched the living room, the kitchen and the bathroom with no sign of him. This means he was probably in the bedroom. 

Brian pushed the open to the bedroom to see Roger curled up in the bed, his back to the door.  
“Roger?” Brian asked. “Are you okay?”  
“I’m fine Bri” came the mumbled response.  
Brian made his way over to the bed and climbed in. He wrapped his arms around the blonde and Roger snuggled his face into Brian’s chest.  
“I know you’re not Rog. What’s the matter?”  
Roger sniffed, and tore his face away from Brian’s chest so that his, normally bright, dull blue eyes met Brian’s.  
“I don’t know Bri. Just… don’t leave” he murmured before hiding his face against Brian again. Brian sighed and began stroking the blonde’s hair.  
“I’m not going anywhere” he said, kissing the top of Roger’s head. “I love you Roger Taylor.”  
“I love you too Brian May.”

As he held Roger, Brian thought about how Roger had changed from the affectionate, loud-mouthed, blue eyed boy he fell in love with to someone who was the complete opposite. He really needed to figure out what had made him like this.  
After a while, Roger fell asleep, so Brian quietly slipped away and out the room to make a cup of tea. Once he sat back down in the living room, he went over the mental notes he had kept of Roger over the past month, all the things that no one would’ve noticed unless you were Brian, because Brian knew Roger like the back of his hand. 

As well as Roger not being as affectionate as he used to be, Brian also realised he wasn’t as social either, in conversations he would mumble answers, sometimes he would just zone out in conversations that he wasn't having any input in, and when conversations were becoming heated, he was the first to back down, which is completely unlike him as he would be the first one to start an argument and wouldn’t ever back down even if he was in the wrong. This sent alarm bells ringing in Brian’ s head.  
Brian also realised that Roger didn’t have his usual energy after shows. He would normally be buzzing and they would all go to a party and get absolutely shit faced. But the past few shows, Roger said he wasn’t up to it and just went back to the hotel instead. This not only surprised Brian but also Freddie and John, especially Freddie as he and Roger were like partners in crime when it came to drinking.  
Brian also worryingly noticed that Roger’s appetite was next to nothing. He went from being able to eat a whole buffet table, to skipping meals constantly. The only time Brian would see him eat was at dinner, and even then he wouldn’t finish the whole plate.  
And what was even more worrying to Brian was that they hadn’t had sex in about 2 weeks. Normally, it was every day or every other day because Roger was always in the mood. But obviously not any more. This made Brian think that maybe this was all because of him. Maybe he had said or done something to hurt him. However nothing came to mind, and even though Roger wasn’t as affectionate, he still wanted affection sometimes, such as earlier when he had let Brian cuddle him and kiss his forehead. He hadn’t completely shut Brian out, which Brian was grateful for, even if it was only a small thing. 

Brian really had no clue why Roger had been acting like this, and so he decided to talk to Freddie and John about it in the morning. He couldn’t face them tonight though. He needed to get his head around the information he had gathered, so decided to head to bed before they got back. 

He downed the rest of his tea and headed upstairs. When he entered the bedroom, he wasn’t sure if Roger was still asleep or not so decided to just keep quiet anyway as he got undressed down to his boxers. He pulled the duvet up and climbed inside next to Roger. Roger was facing Brian with his eyes closed, but from the way his breathing was still hitching now and then as though he had been crying, Brian wasn’t sure if he was faking or not. Brian went to wrap his arms around Roger to bring him closer, but Roger pulled away and rolled over, his back now facing Brian, as he mumbled a “sorry Bri”. Brian was unsure why Roger had done this and became confused but not entirely surprised. Brian just stayed where he was, lying facing Roger’s back, and so decided that if Roger wouldn’t let him cuddle him then he was just going to stroke his hair instead. He started small, just stroking the ends that were sticking out from behind Roger’s head. Roger made no act to stop him, so Brian carried on and slowly made his way up to the top of Roger’s head, so that he could run his fingers through it properly.  
After a while, Roger’s breathing evened out and became softer, and Brian laid his forehead against Roger’s head, smelling his hair, and wishing he new how to fix everything.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian talks to Freddie and John about Roger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in one day! I literally have no self-control. 
> 
>  
> 
> *TRIGGER WARNING*  
> If you are triggered by anything in the tags, i wouldn't recommend reading this.

The next morning, Brian opened his eyes to realise that he now had his back to Roger. He rolled over with a smile, expecting to see blonde hair draped over the pillows and Roger smiling back, however the space next to Brian was empty. He sighed and looked up from the bed to see Roger sat by the window instead, a cigarette in between his lips. He watched as Roger took the cigarette between his fingers and blew out the smoke steadily, staring at the cigarette in his hand.  
“Good morning Rog” Brian said, hopefully looking at Roger for an answer. Something was better than nothing.  
“Mornin’ Bri” Roger replied, stubbing the cigarette out in an ash tray and standing up. As he walked out the room, he made no eye contact with Brian, he just kept his head down constantly. Brian sighed again and checked the time next to him. It was 9:00 meaning they only had an hour to get ready, as they had to record in the studio. Since he could hear Freddie in the bathroom, singing away, he decided to make his way downstairs too. 

When he got downstairs, he met John and Roger in the kitchen. They were both sat at the table in silence; John was eating cereal with a newspaper, and Roger was sat with a cup of coffee. John sent a confused look to Brian then looked back at Roger. He new that John was asking if Roger was okay, but really he had no answer so he just shrugged. John’s frown deepened. Brian just smiled slightly and poured himself some coffee, retuning to the table to sit by Roger, who was still staring at his coffee. 

A few minutes later, the silence was interrupted by Freddie who made his grand entrance, singing at the top of his lungs, and running over to kiss John. John lifted an eyebrow at Freddie once he was done, and Freddie became confused. He looked around to see the other two people that were occupying the kitchen were silent. Brian offered a small smile to Freddie over the top of his coffee cup before flicking his eyes to his boyfriend. Freddie looked at the blonde drummer, who was still staring at his coffee cup, and then looked back at Brian and John confused. Normally, Roger would at least say good morning, so it surprised them when he didn’t, except Brian, as he knew Roger wasn’t talking much anyway.  
“Hey Rog. You okay?” Freddie asked, everyone’s attention on the drummer.  
There was suddenly a screech of a chair as Roger abruptly stood up and walked out with a mumbled, “I’m fine” slipping out of his clenched teeth. Brian just gave a soft smile towards the other two before following Roger.  
They got ready in silence, Brian’s worried eyes constantly on Roger. 

\--------------------------------------------

The rehearsal at the studio was going fine, they were all in time with each other, and the music sounded great. However, about half way through, Roger’s beat started drifting in and out of time, and they could hear him mumble “shit” every time he was out. It got to the point were Roger suddenly stood up from behind his drum kit, and announced he was going out for a cigarette. The rest stopped what they were doing, and went to get a drink. As Roger was outside, Brian thought now would be a perfect time to tell Freddie and John what he had noticed. 

“Hey, Fred, Deacy, do you mind if I just talk to you a minute?”

The aforementioned two exchanged looks and walked towards Brian.

“Is this about Roger?” John asked.

Brian sighed. “Yeah it is. I … I don’t know what’s happening to him. He just seems so far away. He’s not eating, he doesn’t want to talk, he doesn’t even want have sex. It’s like he’s completely different. It’s like I’m living with a ghost.”  
“We’ve noticed darling,” Freddie said, holding Brian’s gaze. “Me and Deacy have seen it happening, we don’t know what to do either. Maybe you need to talk to him. Just ask why he’s like this, rather than if he’s okay, because we all know he’ll just say he’s fine.”

“Just remember we are here for you as well Bri. You’re both our best friends and roommates, and we want to help you, so if there is anything in particular you want us to do, we’ll do it,” John said.

“Thanks guys,” Brian managed to say before Roger came storming in and sat behind his drums. 

“We are going to do Misfire again and then I think we’ll call it a day, okay Rog?” Freddie said, plastering on a fake smile to hide his worried expression. 

“Yeah, okay,” Roger replied, eyes still on his drum kit. 

They finished the song, and started to get their things so that they could go. As Roger headed out with Freddie shortly behind, John turned to Brian.

“Me and Freddie are going out tonight for dinner, so you can talk to Roger then. I know you don’t want too because you’re afraid of what he’ll say, but I want you to know whatever is making him like this is probably not because of anything you’ve done, otherwise he would just be distant with you, instead of all of us. Just … make sure you talk to him.” John patted Brian’s back as he headed out the door. Brian was close behind and found that Freddie and Roger were stood leaning on the car, smoking. Once John and Brian got to them, they flicked their cigarette’s onto the floor, and turned to the car and got in. Brian and John also got in, so that Roger and Brian were in the back and John was in the driver’s seat with Freddie next to him. 

On the way home, Freddie and John were happily talking to each other, whilst the other two passengers were sat in silence. Brian turned to Roger to see him looking out the window. Brian placed his hand on Roger thigh and held his breath. When Roger didn’t shuffle away, Brian decided he would leave his hand there, just brushing his thumb backwards and forwards over Roger’s leg. 

Brian gazed at the blonde sat next to him, and still felt the butterflies he felt when he first laid eyes on him. He had loved Roger from day one, his blue eyes and bright smile made him swoon, and he smiled, thinking about how lucky he was to have someone so beautiful. He missed that smile though. Even though Roger did smile, it was never as beaming as it used to be, and his eyes didn’t hold the same brightness either. Brian's smile turned to sadness as he realised everything that made Roger Roger, wasn’t there anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like this chapter. The next one will be up soon. 
> 
> Thank you for the kudos and comments on the last chapter. They really made my day :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian realises that something that happened in the past might be triggering Roger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter :)
> 
>  
> 
> *TRIGGER WARNING*  
> There is mentions of abuse and drug abuse in this chapter.

Chapter 3

After spending the rest of the day watching the tv, John and Freddie announced they were leaving.   
“Don’t wait up for us darlings,” Freddie smirked before he was ushered out the door by John. 

Brian was sat on one end of the sofa, whilst Roger was curled up on the other end. Brian glanced at the blonde and took a deep breathe. He just needed to get it done.

“Rog?”

“Hmmm?” Roger hummed, eyes still on the tv.

“What’s going on?” At this, Roger’s face whipped round to face Brian. “Rog, you are so distant it’s as if I don’t have a boyfriend anymore. I miss you. I want to help you but you have to let me in. I don’t know how to help you if I don’t even know why you’re like this.”

Roger sighed. “I don’t want to talk about it Bri.”

“But Roger -” Brian started before he was interrupted.

“I said leave it Brian.”

“Okay. I’ll leave it. But I just want you to know that I’m here for you when you do want to talk. I love you Roger.”

Roger smiled at Brian and shuffled across the sofa, burying his face in Brian’s chest. Brian smiled. He may have not gotten anywhere with the conversation, but at least Roger didn’t run away from the situation, which he feared he would. 

About twenty minutes later, Roger announced he was going to bed, leaving Brian to think about what to do next. 

 

\-----------------------------------------  
As the weeks went on, Roger didn’t get any better, and Brian realised that this wasn’t the first time. He had almost forgotten about it. So close to erasing it from his mind. When Brian and Roger were in Smile, Roger was showing some of these signs then as well. However, Brian wasn’t his boyfriend at the time… it was Tim. Brian had started noticing that if someone raised their voice, then Roger would flinch away, and he started showing up to gigs with bruises that he thought he had covered well with make up. Brian and Freddie were able to get Roger away from that bastard, but it took a while, and when they finally did, Brian realised it was worse then they thought. Roger was on drugs, but wouldn’t tell Brian or Freddie which one. Eventually, they were able to help him stop, but it drained all three men, and Brian would prefer never to have to think back to that time again. But that was 5 years ago. They hadn’t seen Tim since then. So what could’ve triggered Roger to feel so bad? He just hope he would be able to help Roger before anything drastic happens. 

 

One night, Brian was woken up in the middle of the night. He rubbed his eyes, confused as to why he had woken up so early. He then heard a small whimper and a sniff from next to him. He realised that Roger was crying. Brian turned on the lamp next to him then turned back to Roger.

He placed a hand on Roger’s shoulder. “Hey Rog. It’s okay I’m here.”

Roger rolled over so that Brian could wrap his arms him. His sobbing continued, and Brian just kept whispering to him that everything is okay. After a while, the crying slowed.

“Do you still love me Brian?” It was so quiet Brian nearly missed it.

“What kind of question is that? Of course I do. I love you so much Roger,” he said, bringing Roger even closer. They stayed like that until they both fell asleep. 

 

The next morning, they were all in the kitchen when Roger announced he was going in the shower. As soon as Brian heard the shower turn on, he spoke to Freddie and John.

“I woke up in the middle of the night last night to Roger crying his eyes out. He wouldn’t say why.” 

Freddie and John exchanged glances. 

Brian sighed. “And then he asked me if I still love him.”

“Maybe he thinks you don’t love him anymore,” said Freddie.

“But that doesn’t make any sense. I tell him I love him all the time. And that wouldn’t explain why he’s been so distant with you two as well.” 

“Yeah I guess you’re right,” replied Freddie. 

“He… he was like this after Tim,” Brian mumbled, eyes cast downwards.

“Something must have triggered this. He’s … not using again is he Brian?”

“I hope not. I haven’t seen any signs.”

“I think we just have to keep an eye on him. He might feel better soon. I just don’t want him to spiral way down to the bottom like he did with Tim.” Freddie said, offering a soft smile to Brian.

 

That night, all four of them sat round the tv watching a movie. John was snuggled on Freddie’s lap whilst Roger and Brian were sat next to each other. About half way through the film, Roger fell asleep with his head on Brian’s shoulder. Brian looked up at the other chair to see John looking at Roger.

“I miss Roger,” John murmured.

“We all do dear,” Freddie replied, rubbing John’s back. Brian hummed in agreement. 

Brian turned to his blonde boyfriend and stroked his hair before placing a kiss on his forehead. 

“I just hope he comes back.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like this chapter.
> 
> Next chapter will be up soon :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roger's behaviour starts to become even stranger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like this chapter :)
> 
>  
> 
> *TRIGGER WARNING*  
> If you are triggered by anything in the tags, I wouldn't recommend reading this.

As the weeks went on, Brian, as well as Freddie and John, became increasingly worried for their drummer. It was just small things at first, but soon Roger’s behaviour was setting off warning signs for all of them.

Brian woke up to an empty bed again. He wasn’t surprised. He decided to claim the bathroom for a shower before Freddie went in, otherwise he wouldn’t get in at all. He suspected Roger to be downstairs with their other two flat mates, and so decided that it would be fine to leave him with them.

Brian stepped into the shower, and let the warm water wet his hair and run down his back, relieving some tension. Although this was a good shower, Brian missed showers with Roger, how they would wash each other’s hair, and just cuddle under the water, peppering each other’s bodies with kisses. But that was just a memory for Brian at the minute. He hoped he would be able to get Roger to do it again with him, but he didn’t get his hopes up.

After his shower, Brian headed downstairs, with still wet hair, to find Freddie and John curled around each other in the living room. John was reading the newspaper as usual, with Freddie sat behind him, his finger’s carding through the brunette hair. They both looked at Brian with a smile. “Good morning darling.” “Good morning Bri.”

“Mornin’ guys,” Brian replied. After realising the absence of his blonde boyfriend, Brian headed towards the kitchen. He found Roger at the table with his head buried in his arms, and a cold cup of coffee next to him. Brian walked towards him and placed a hand on the drummer’s shoulder.  
“Mornin Rog”

“Mornin,” Roger grumbled into his arms before looking up at his boyfriend and giving a slight smile. Brian took in the appearance of Roger. It looked like he was going through a really bad hangover. His face was pale, paler than usual, and his eyes were bloodshot.  
“You alright?” Brian asked, an inquisitive expression adorning his face. Roger’s smile faltered, before placing his head back on his arms.  
“Yeah I just didn’t sleep.”  
Brian placed a kiss in Roger’s hair before making himself a coffee, as well as Roger, as his other one was cold.  
They took their coffee into the living room to sit with John and Freddie. They all just chatted happily, except Roger who would only nod or shake his head, eyes down over his coffee. They all then went to get ready, and so Brian followed Roger up the stairs. Watching him walk ahead, Brian realised how skinny Roger looked. His clothes practically hung off him. He knew he was eating, even if he still didn’t have a great appetite, so Brian couldn’t understand how he was losing so much weight. They then picked out their clothes, and instead of getting changed together in their room, Roger headed to the bathroom to do it. This wasn’t the first time, it had happened for a few weeks, and Brian couldn’t understand why.  
When Roger came back out, he was yet again wearing a long-sleeved shirt. Even though it was winter, Roger was never one to wear long-sleeved shirts often, never mind every day like he was at the minute. Every time Brian or one of the other two flat mates would question Roger about it, he would just say that he was cold.  
As this particular day was a Sunday, they spent the day huddled together around the tv. Normally Brian would protest and say they still needed to at least do something productive, but decided that rest was what they needed, especially Roger, who proved it when he fell asleep about twenty minutes into the movie they had started, his head in Brian’s lap.

Roger woke up just before dinner, blinking his eyes open to see his friends entirely engrossed in the film that was playing. Roger turned his head so that he was looking up at Brian. At this, Brian turned his head down to face Roger.  
“You okay love?”  
“Bri…”  
“Yes?” Brian asked with an encouraging nod.  
“Do you think I’m a good enough drummer?” Brian gave him a confused look.  
“What? Of course I do. And so do Freddie and Deacy. What made you ask this?” Brian said, looking at Roger like he had gone mad.  
“Nothing,” Roger mumbled, turning his head back towards the tv.

After dinner, and another film, they all decided to go to bed as they had to be up early to record the next day. Brian got into bed and waited for Roger, who was getting changed in the bathroom. Roger came back in jogging bottoms and a baggy shirt. He had his arms folded, and only unfolded them as soon as he was under the covers next to Brian. It occurred to Brian that he hadn’t seen his boyfriend completely naked, or even just a little bit, for some weeks. Things were starting to slowly add up in Brian’s brain: the not sleeping, the weight loss, the fact that he didn’t say anything to anyone, and now not letting anyone see his arms or legs. Brian didn’t want to jump to conclusions. But he needed to know.  
Brian turned over so he was facing Roger, even though Roger had his back to him.  
“Rog?”  
“Hmmm?”  
“Are you using again?”  
Roger moved so that he was looking over his shoulder at Brian with a confused look.  
“No.”  
“Roger don’t lie to me. Tell me the truth. Are you using?”  
“I told you no Brian. Don’t you trust me?” Roger then buried his face back into his pillow, shutting Brian out.  
“No I don’t,” Brian whispered to himself, so inaudible that Roger couldn’t hear it.

Brian didn’t regret his words. Especially when he was woken by the front door opening and closing. Brian looked at the clock. It was nearly 3am. Who was leaving at this time? He thought it might be John or Freddie, but after turning over, he realised that again the bed was empty. This had happened before. It was a few weeks ago now, and Brian still couldn’t figure out what he was doing. Brian had no clue why Roger would leave at this hour, and he knew he was right not to trust him. If he couldn’t put his trust in Roger, then he would have to put it in his other two flat mates. He wished he could, but for Roger’s sake, he knew he couldn’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be up soon.
> 
> Thank you for the kudos and comments :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian finally finds out why Roger had been acting strange

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this chapter is not that nice so if you are triggered easily, I wouldn't recommend reading this.
> 
>  
> 
> *TRIGGER WARNING*  
> Mentions of past abuse, drug abuse and self-harm.

Brian was driving home from work, in a happier mood than he had been in weeks. He had finished early, which meant he would have time alone with Roger, even if it was just ten minutes, before the other two came home. He hummed along to the radio as he entered the car park, and continued humming as he got out of his car and made his way up to the flat. He opened the door to silence. He knew Freddie and John were out together for the day, but he also knew Roger had to be home. There was nowhere else he could be. And it wasn’t like he was leaving the house anyway. 

“Rog, I’m home. I got off early,” Brian called out as he went in and out of each room downstairs. Once he had concluded that Roger wasn’t downstairs, he then headed to their bedroom, presuming he was there. Brian opened the door to their bedroom to find it empty. 

“Rog where are you?” Brian said, panic lacing his words. He looked in Freddie and John’s room to find that empty too. The only room left was the bathroom. As he headed towards it, he also heard the front door open and close, meaning Freddie and John were home. Brian approached the bathroom and pushed the handle down, only for it to jam, and he realised it was locked. 

 

“Shit,” he shouted. “Rog open up it’s just me.” Nothing happened, not even a sound, except for Freddie and John coming up the stairs to see why Brian was shouting. 

“What’s the matter Bri?” Freddie asked.

“Roger has locked himself in the bathroom and he’s not answering me.”

“I can pick the lock if you want,” John said, already making his way to the door. 

“Roger please answer me,” Brian shouted, aiming his pleas at the door.

“Roger dear, we are going to come in whether you like it or not,” Freddie said with an urgency to his voice.

A few seconds later, they all heard a soft click, meaning John had unlocked the door. He stood up and moved towards Freddie so that Brian could enter. 

Brian opened the door slowly, and his heart flew to his throat when he caught sight of Roger. He was slumped on the floor, back pressed against the bath. 

“Roger?” Brian’s breath hitched. “Roger … oh my god what happened?” He bent down so that he was eye level with Roger. He placed his hand on Roger’s chin and lifted his head so that Roger was now looking at Brian. Brian noticed by the panicked and confused expression adorning the blonde’s face, that Roger was disorientated. Brian also saw that Roger’s chest was rising and falling at an abnormally fast rate, and, with a closer look, he noticed pupils were constricted so much that they were just a tiny black dot in a sea of blue. 

“Shit Roger,” Brian shouted, standing up. At this,, John and Freddie came rushing in, panic flashing over their faces. Brian took a deep breath, willing his anger to simmer down, before kneeling down in front of Roger. 

“Roger what the fuck have you taken?”

Roger’s eyes just darted around the room, obviously not paying attention to what Brian was saying. 

“Brian…” Freddie hesitated, glancing at John. 

“What Freddie?” Brian snapped.

“Look at the bin.”

So Brian did. And he nearly broke down in sobs. Nearly. By the bin was a burnt spoon, a lighter and an opened bag of white powder. Then by Roger’s arms was an empty needle. A used needle. 

“Freddie what the fuck is that. Please tell me it’s not what I think it is,” Brian said handing the bag to Freddie. 

“How the fuck am I meant to know Brian?”

“Freddie you are around drugs all the time. You must know what it is. I’m not saying you take it or anything. I’m just asking if that’s what I think it is”

Freddie glanced at Brian then inspected the bag. He looked back at Brian with sad eyes. 

“Unfortunately yes. I’m pretty sure this is heroin.”

“What the fuck Roger?” Brian screamed. He took Roger’s face in his hands. “Why are you doing this Roger? Why are you doing this to yourself?”

And to Brian’s surprise, Roger replied.

“I’m sorry Brian,” he mumbled. “I just wanted the pain to go away.” As he said it, there was some sort of clarity in his eyes, even in the middle of his high. 

And Brian sobbed. “What the fucking hell do you think you’re doing. We did so well before, and now you’ve gone and fucking relapsed.”

At this, John shot Freddie a questioning look, who replied with a ‘I’ll-tell-you-later’ look. 

“Should we take him to the hospital?” John piped up, unsure of what he should say.

“No. He’s just high, and he’s still conscious. I just need to get him to bed.”

So the three friends grabbed the blonde drummer, and carried him down the hall to his and Brian’s bedroom. Half way there, Roger promptly passed out, leaving them all with his dead weight. They placed him on the bed gently, then Freddie and John slipped out of the room, leaving Brian by himself with Roger. He decided that he would just undress Roger and put him to bed. 

At least he knew why Roger was constantly hiding his arms. Brian unbuttoned Roger’s shirt before slipping it off his torso and both arms. And both arms had needle tracks on them. Brian let a tear slip, letting it land on Roger’s chest. He then took Roger’s jeans off, which revealed something that made him feel sick. Roger’s thighs were littered with thin lines, some so old they had scarred, and some so new, they hadn’t even scabbed over yet.

At this point, Brian just couldn’t handle it anymore. He broke down in gut-wrenching sobs, hugging Roger to his chest, holding on for dear life. He buried his face in the crook of Roger’s neck and let his heart cry. 

\-----------------------------------  
After leaving Brian with Roger, Freddie grabbed John’s hand and led him to their bedroom, shutting the door, and then proceeded to sit on the bed, and John did the same.   
“What did Brian mean when he said Roger relapsed?” John whispered, in fear of what he was going to find out. When Freddie asked Brian a few weeks ago if Roger was using again, John didn’t question it, expecting Freddie to tell him, but he didn’t. Just because he was the last to join, doesn’t mean he should be kept out of whatever had been happening.   
“Back when Brian and Roger were in Smile, I was Rog’s best friend, even though I wasn’t in the band. I ran a stall with him, as you know, but I was friend’s with him way before Brian, so when it happened, I was stupid not to see it. It went on way too long, and I didn’t even see. I mean, how could I be his best friend and not know?”  
“Know what Freddie?” John asked, looking a Freddie with a questioning look.   
“Back in Smile, Roger wasn’t with Brian. He was with Tim. Tim … well I don’t know how to say it other than that he … well, he abused Roger. Both mentally and physically.” A sob escaped Freddie as tears started to roll down his cheeks. “It was horrible Deacy. Eventually, we were able to get him away from that dickhead, but we didn’t realised he had turned to drugs. We weren’t sure if he had willingly taken them or was forced, but he was so heavily addicted, it took a while to wean him off, and he had to have a lot to help from the doctors. He never even told us what he took, but obviously we know now. I just… I just don’t want him to go through all that again.”  
John turned and hugged Freddie, holding him tight as he cried.   
“I’m sure he’ll make it through this Freddie. I mean, he may have only just started using recently, which would mean it would be a little bit easier to get him off it.”  
Freddie looked up from where his head was on John’s chest. “I love you John.”  
John smiled. “I love you too Freddie.”  
They then sat curled up together on the bed, lazily dipping in and out of sleep.  
A while past before they were abruptly pulled out of their slumber by shouting from the other room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be up soon :)
> 
> Also thank you so much for the kudos and comments xx


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of what Roger did

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was so hard to write so excuse the shitty writing. This is another not very nice chapter so be prepared.
> 
> *TRIGGER WARNING*  
> Mentions of past abuse, drug abuse and self-harm. There is also some blood and a lot of swearing.

About twenty minutes after John and Freddie had left Brian with Roger, Brian’s sobs had started to slow down as anger overtook him. He just couldn’t hold it down any longer. And it only worsened his anger when he realised Roger was stirring back into consciousness. As soon as those pretty blue eyes made contact with his, Brian saw red.  
“ROGER WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?” Roger flinched at Brian shouting at him, and curled into himself, trying to muffle the sound of Brian’s yelling.   
“I WORKED SO HARD TO MAKE SURE YOU WERE OKAY AND THEN I HAVE TO FIND OUT YOU’VE BEEN LYING ABOUT USING AGAIN BY FINDING YOU HIGH ON THE FUCKING BATHROOM FLOOR! WHAT THE FUCK?” Just when Roger thought it couldn’t get any worse, Brian raised his hand.  
Freddie and John burst in, wondering what the hell was going on. Once they spotted what Brian was about to do, Freddie lunged at Brian and gripped his hand, yanking him out the room. John went straight to Roger, letting him hide his face against his chest as he cried. 

\----------------------------  
“BRIAN WHAT THE BLOODY HELL DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?” Freddie shouted as soon as he was out of earshot, tightening his grip around Brian’s wrist before shoving him against the wall. Suddenly, everything hit Brian at once. In his blind rage, he didn’t realise that he had tried to slap Roger. And the guilt was quickly eating him up, and it only worsened when Freddie gave him a look of disgust.   
“I don’t even know. I… I didn’t mean to.”  
“I don’t care whether you meant to or not Brian.” Freddie said jabbing a finger into Brian’s chest, the anger in his voice evident. “You still tried to hit your boyfriend. Your best friend. MY best friend. Try and get it into that thick skull of yours that not everything is about YOU. I get how you’re feeling. You’re frustrated and mad, probably not even at Roger, but more at what is happening to him. I understand. But in NO way does it give you the right to ever do something like that, especially as that was what got him on drugs in the first place.”  
Brain kept his head down as Freddie stepped back.   
“I’m going to Roger,” Freddie said as he abruptly turned and left the room, leaving Brian to himself.   
\------------------------------  
When Freddie got to Roger and Brian’s room, he knocked, before putting his head in.   
“Hey Deacy, can I borrow you a second?”  
John looked at Roger who was huddled against him, before silently nodding. He gently took Roger off his chest and buried him in he blankets before getting up to speak to Freddie. Once they were outside the room, they felt it safe to speak to each other without the others hearing.   
“How is Roger?” Freddie asked.  
John sighed. “To be honest, not good. What the hell was Brian thinking?”  
“I don’t know. I have spoken to him, and I think he regrets everything. I think you should go and speak to him. I will speak to Roger, or maybe just sit with him if he doesn’t want to talk.”  
“Okay Fred,” John said, before nodding his head and walking downstairs to Brian.   
\-----------------------------  
John headed downstairs and saw Brian where Freddie had left him, still stood against the wall with his head down. As John got closer, he noticed tears rolling off Brian’s face and onto the ground. Immediately, John wanted to comfort him, but then his brain reminded him of what Brian had just done, so he resisted.   
“Brian, why did you do it?” John asked softly, still keeping his distance from Brian. Brian looked   
up at John and sighed.   
“I don’t know what happened. One minute I was crying my eyes out, then the next I was just so angry. And I’m not even angry at Roger… I’m such a terrible boyfriend.” Brian murmured, sliding down the wall. John decided, with hesitation, that he was going to sit with him. He also sat on the floor with his back to the wall, however still keeping a distance between them.   
“I think you need to apologise to Roger. He may forgive you straight away, but I don’t think he’ll immediately trust you again.”  
Brian nodded in agreement before sighing again and pushing himself off the floor. John joined him and watched as Brian rubbed away the tears before heading up the stairs.   
\-------------------------------  
Once John had gone down to Brian, Freddie went into Roger and Brian’s room and lay down on the bed next to Roger. Roger immediately moved to lay his head on Freddie’s chest, and Freddie softly smiled. As he listened to Roger’s sobs quieten and his breath hitching lessen, he ran his fingers through the blonde hair, calming him down, before planting a small kiss on his head.   
“I am here for you Roger. If you don’t think you can speak to Brian, me and John are always here.”  
Roger nodded slightly, still not lifting his head from Freddie’s chest.   
“Everything will be okay Roger.”  
Roger didn’t answer, and Freddie let out a breathy sigh, continuing to stroke Roger’s hair.

Freddie didn’t know how long they laid like that, but eventually he heard a knock at the door. He shouted confirmation before John poked his head around the door.   
“Brian wants to speak to Roger,” John said, mainly to Freddie.  
“Is that okay darling,” Freddie whispered, looking down at Roger. There was a pause before Roger nodded and slowly sat up. Freddie squeezed Roger’s hand, then nodded at John, before leaving the room.   
When Brian met Freddie’s gaze, he could see the warning in it, so he swallowed the lump in his throat and entered the room. 

Once he had gotten in the room, he sat at the end of their bed. He took a deep breath, then looked at Roger, who was sat staring at him. Brian could see that Roger was still coming down from his high from the way his pupils weren’t as small, but definitely weren’t back to normal.   
“Hey Rog,”Brian said softly. Roger made no movement to let Brian know he was going to answer, so Brian continued.   
“I’m sorry for earlier. I didn’t mean it. I was just so upset. And… I mean… I’m not upset at you but rather at what’s happening to you. I just let my anger get the best of me. I do love you Roger. I’m sorry.”  
“Bri…” came Rog’s voice, no louder than whisper. Brian looked at Roger who was patting the bed next to him. Brian climbed over and lay down. Roger laid his head on Brian’s stomach, as Brian carded his hands through his blonde hair. Brian didn’t know whether this meant he had forgiven him or not, but he did think how lucky he was to have someone that would even let him in the same room, never mind cuddling. After a while, Brian spoke up.  
“What’s happened Rog? Why are you doing this to yourself?”  
Roger was silent, and didn’t move his head from Brian’s stomach.  
“And I know you’re not just using.” At that, Roger did look up, confusion plastered on his face. Then it dawned on him. He didn’t have trousers on.  
“I saw the scars Roger. How I didn’t notice them before I don’t know. But.. why are you doing this?”  
Roger rolled off of Brian and curled himself beside him instead, so Brian turned onto his side to hug him. Brian could feel his shirt dampening as Roger let out silent tears.  
“I’m done Brian,” he whispered. Brian also felt water on his face, and only then did he realise he was crying too.   
‘What did Roger mean?’ he thought. He knew the answer wouldn’t be what he wanted, and so the tears kept streaming as he buried his face into the hair of his sobbing boyfriend. 

 

A few hours past before Freddie came in to the room after knocking quietly. Freddie assumed everything was alright between Brian and Roger now, as they had spent most of the day together and there hadn’t been any shouting.   
“Darlings, John has made you dinner. It’s ready now so you can come downstairs for it.”  
“I’m not hungry,” Roger mumbled from were he was wrapped in Brian’s arms, head buried in his chest.   
“Roger you’ve got to eat,” Brian said, eyes looking down at the man in his arms. He slowly untangled himself from Roger and held out his hand. Roger looked at Brian, then at his hand, then let out a heavy sigh before grabbing Brian’s hand, who then proceeded to pull him out of the room, and down the stairs. 

 

They all sat at the table, eating the pasta John had made. Well… everyone except Roger, who was just pushing the pasta around the bowl.  
“Roger.” Roger looked up at Freddie, who had spoken to him. “Eat.”  
Roger sighed before eating a mouthful of pasta, then pushing his plate away and grumbling something about going to bed.   
Brian looked at John with an apologetic look.   
“It’s okay Brian. I know it’s not because my food is awful or anything.” John smiled at Brian, who offered one back, but neither reached their ears.  
“Brian what do you want to do with the drugs?” Freddie asked, intently looking at Brian.  
Brian had completely forgot. Freddie must have them as they weren’t in the bathroom when he was in there earlier.   
“I don’t know. What do you think we should do?”  
“I think we should keep them. We can’t make him go cold turkey, so we will have to wean him off like we did last time, only we will control it, not him.” Brian nodded, understanding what Freddie was saying. “You should hide it though. Otherwise he will get hold of it again.”  
“Okay,” Brian said as he took his plate in to the kitchen. “Where though?”  
“How about we tape it to the underside of the table? He will never think to look there,” John said, looking at Freddie for approval. Freddie nodded, along with Brian.   
“I’ll go and get it then,” Freddie said as he stood up and left the room.   
A few minutes later, he came back with the bag, and Brian was ready with some tape. They secured it to the underside of the table like John said.   
“I think I’m gonna go to bed,” Brian said, before saying goodnight, and heading to bed. He found Roger already asleep, head buried in his pillow, and the duvet tucked around him tightly. Brian got undressed, but not completely, so that he was ready for bed. He climbed in, immediately cuddling Roger from behind and holding him against his chest tightly.   
“I never want to let you go Roger. Please don’t go. I miss you,” he whispered, burying his head into the back of Roger’s neck, listening to him breathe in and out.   
\-----------------------------  
There was a loud thud and Brian awoke with a start. Confused, he looked at the clock, which read three am. What the hell was someone doing up at this time? He turned over, ready to snuggle into his boyfriend before he realised he was the only one in bed. Shit. He sat up when the realisation hit him that whatever that thud was had come from Roger. And then he heard footsteps along the hall, and his door was flung wide open. Freddie and John stood there panic etched on their faces as their eyes scanned the room, obviously looking for the same person Brian was. Brian got out of bed and pulled a t shirt on before joining Freddie and John.   
“Where’s Roger?” Freddie asked.  
“I don’t know. I only just woke up because of that loud bang.”  
“Yeah, same” Freddie replied.  
‘Where was Roger?’ Brian thought.   
Another loud thud pulled Brian out of his thoughts, and all three of their heads whipped around to face where the sound was coming from. The bathroom. They ran simultaneously to the door before stopping abruptly, trying to figure out what to do next. Brian lifted his hand and knocked.   
“Roger it’s me. Open up.”  
“Fuck,” Roger squeaked from behind the door. But there will still no sound of movement.   
“Is it locked?” Freddie asked me, worry dancing across his features.   
Brian pulled at the handle and it went down with ease. Not locked. He waited a second before opening the door, sparing one last worried glance to his friends. After a moment to gather himself, Brian opened the door.   
Blood was the first thing Brian saw. Then the panic on Roger’s face.   
“Roger …” Brian didn’t know what to say. Roger was sat on the floor with a razor in his hands, blood falling from it. Brian travelled his eyes down to see Roger’s legs covered in blood. Brian put a hand to his mouth.   
John and Freddie were wondering what had rendered Brian speechless, so glanced around the door. Immediately, they both felt sick.   
Brian headed over to Roger and crouched down in front of him.   
“Roger, if you give me the razor we can go and patch you up.” He held out his hand for Roger to put the razor in, but Roger just stared at him, his eyes wide.   
“Roger,” Brian pleaded.   
A moment passed, before Roger, very slowly, placed the razor in Brian’s hand. Brian sighed in relief and put the razor straight in the bin.  
“John can you go and get the first aid kit from the kitchen please.” Brian asked, his voice shaking. John nodded and headed off to the kitchen, whilst Freddie came into the bathroom to crouch the other side of Roger.   
Brian ran the tap and they both slowly cleaned Roger’s legs so they could see the extent of the injuries. There were deep cuts that ran along Roger’s thighs, but Roger didn’t even flinch as the water went over them, just kept staring straight ahead.  
John came back with the first aid kit, and Brian and Freddie got out bandage for the worst ones, and plasters for the others.   
Once he was all patched up, Brian thanked John and Freddie, who then left to go back to bed. Brian then turned to Roger.  
“Roger, I’m going to take you to bed now.” Roger made no response. Brian sighed before putting one arm under Roger’s legs and one around his waist, and picked him up. He carried him back to their room then laid him down on the bed gently before helping him get under the covers. Brian then joined him and waited for Roger to fall asleep.

Even after hearing Roger’s breath even out as sleep claimed him, Brian just couldn’t sleep. There was then a knock at his door, which then opened to show John and Freddie.  
“May we join you darling? We just can’t sleep and we are worried about Rog.” Freddie whispered.  
Brian nodded and scooted over, bringing Roger with him so that John and Freddie could get in. Roger was now squished between Brian and Freddie, whilst John was the other side of Freddie.  
“I’m glad I’ve got a big bed,” Brian joked, earning a smile from the other two.   
“I’m worried about him,” Brian whispered, before placing a kiss on Roger’s head.  
“We all are dear… we all are.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't hate me for what is happening to Roger. I promise there is a happy ending :)  
> And thank you for the kudos and comments x


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roger's withdrawals start

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this took me so long to post. I've literally been so busy with exams and whatever that I just didn't have time to post it. But here you go...
> 
>  
> 
> *TRIGGER WARNING*  
> Mentions of drug abuse

The next day, it became very clear to Brian that Roger’s withdrawal had set in. Currently, Brian was sat at the other side of the sofa to where Roger was sat, receiving a death glare from none other than his blonde boyfriend. Every so often, Roger would huff and change his seating position, letting Brian risk a glance at him. There was a thin sheen of sweat covering Roger’s forehead, and he was visibly shaking. He had an arm tightly wrapped around his stomach which, Brian had concluded, meant he had really bad stomach cramps. Brian knew the first 48 hours would be the worst, but he felt as if he wasn’t prepared at all. He wasn’t ready to hold Roger’s hair back as he vomited into the toilet all night, but he did it, even with the mumbled “Bri go away,” that left Roger’s lips in between retching, And now he wasn’t ready for Roger’s sudden change in mood. He had gone from being quiet to being irritated by everything and everyone. He knew that deep down, Roger did want to get clean, but his symptoms were prioritising his thoughts which had dumped him into a foul mood. 

Brian sighed deeply as he saw Roger shakily get up from the sofa, his glare still prominent, before abruptly walking out. He wished he didn’t have to deal with this alone, but Freddie and John had gone out together, and Brian wouldn’t make them come back because he was struggling to think of ways to help his boyfriend. 

Brian continued to sit on the sofa for a while, lost in thought, before he was pulled back into reality by the sound of retching. Brian was quick to react, and was in the bathroom in an instant. Roger was huddled around the toilet, head lost beneath the seat as he vomited. Brian knelt beside him, brushing his blonde hair out of his face and pulling it behind his head in one hand, whilst the other rubbed up and down his back slowly.

“It’s okay. I’m here,” he murmured soothingly as the vomiting started to increase. It lasted for a while until Roger was down to just dry heaving. Once he had finished, he slumped against Brian, all his anger drained from him. Brian moved his hand from Roger’s back and proceeded to card his fingers through the long hair. He then brought his hand to Roger’s forehead, where he concluded that his fever was still holding strong.

“Are you okay to get up?” Brian asked, keeping his voice quiet. Roger nodded slightly, so Brian slowly helped him up and aided him to the bedroom. He took Roger’s sweat soaked clothes off him, leaving him in just his boxers, before placing him between the covers. He then vanished into the bathroom, before emerging out with a wet flannel, and sat beside Roger, where Roger instinctively laid his head on Brian’s shoulder. Brian smiled slightly before dabbing Roger’s sweaty face with the wet cloth before letting it rest on his forehead.

For the next hour, Brian kept re-wetting the flannel before running it gently over Roger’s face. After wetting the cloth for what must have been the fifth time, he came back into the bedroom to find Roger stumbling out of bed. 

“Roger what are you doing?” Brian asked, approaching Roger and putting his hands on his shoulders.  
“I can’t take this anymore Brian. I need it,” Roger murmured, desperation in his eyes, trying but failing to get free from Brian’s strong grip.  
Brian sighed. “No Roger. We are weaning you off it. I can give you some tonight but not your normal amount. We’ve got to get you clean Roger.”  
“But what if I don’t want to get clean?” Roger snapped.  
“That’s not you talking Roger. It’s the withdrawal.”  
“Bullshit,” Roger spat. Brian knew he had to diffuse this situation before it got out of hand.  
“Roger please just get back into bed.”  
“No Brian.”  
“Roger please-”  
“No.” Roger was still struggling in Brian’s grip so Brian strengthened it before he stood to his full height, towering over the smaller man.  
“Roger Taylor, get back in that bed right now.” Roger visibly flinched at the way Brian spoke to him, but composed himself quickly before slowly making his way to the bed and slipping under the covers in silence. Brian sighed. He didn’t like being stern with Roger, but that was the only way to get him to listen when he wants something he can’t have. He slowly got into the bed beside Roger, who was curled away from him, and put his arms around the slim waist, bringing Roger closer. Roger turned over after a while and buried his head into Brian’s chest, his shaking form now enveloped in Brian’s arms.  
“Brian...”  
“Yes?” Brian looked down at his boyfriend and started to stroke his hair.  
“You can leave me if you want Bri. I understand if you don’t want me anymore,” Roger whispered, burying his face further into Brian’s chest to suppress the quiet sobs he was trying to hold in.  
Brian’s heart plummeted. “How could you say something like that? I will never leave you. Ever. Look at me Rog”  
Roger lifted his head from Brian’s chest to stare up at him, his big blue eyes glistening with tears.  
“I love you Roger Meddows Taylor and nothing will ever change that.” He bent down to kiss Roger, but stopped himself. Even though Roger was cuddling a bit more now, it didn’t mean he was ready to kiss. So instead, he kissed his head lightly before letting Roger bury his face back into his chest. 

After a while, Brian could hear soft snores coming from his boyfriend. He didn’t dare move incase Roger woke up. He heard the front door open and close downstairs, followed by muffled talking. He then heard footsteps coming up the stairs before his door was slowly pushed open. Freddie and John were on the other side, and they quietly made their way to Brian in order not to wake up the drummer. 

“We cancelled the gig on Friday. We thought it would be best to rest a while before we started things up again,” John whispered.  
Brian nodded, giving his thanks in hushed tones. In all honesty, he had completely forgotten about the gig on Friday.  
“How is he?” Freddie asked nodding towards Roger.  
Brian sighed softly before speaking. “Not great. I think I will have to give him a bit tonight. Not enough to get him high, but just so that the symptoms stop for a while.”  
The other two nodded before offering a smile and heading out the room.

Brian decided he should wake Roger up so that he could have a bit before it was too late into the night. The blonde stirred before blinking up at Brian.  
“You can have a bit now.”  
Roger’s eyes lit up and he shakily got out of bed.  
“Let me go and get it then you can do it. Okay?” Brian didn’t want Roger to know where he hid it, so he retrieved it for him.

\-----------------------------  
As soon as Roger’s symptoms died down, he relaxed next to Brian, curling around the older man. Brian brushed the hair out of Roger’s face before kissing him lightly on the head.  
“I do love you Roger. Please remember that.”  
Roger only pulled himself closer to Brian, burying his face in his chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you found that chapter a little bit lighter than last time. But don't get used to it. The next chapter will be quite dark but after that it should lighten up. Remember, it does have a happy ending!!  
> And thank you for the kudos and comments. They are much appreciated :)


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian ends up having to leave Roger by himself when he's still going through withdrawal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well this is a bit intense. Just remember there is a happy ending!!
> 
>  
> 
> *TRIGGER WARNING*  
> Mentioned/referenced drug abuse

Brian was nervous. It had been two days and Roger’s withdrawal was now in full force. Brian noticed Roger looked really ill, but he had dwindled down the amounts of heroin he was giving Roger until he couldn’t give him anymore. There was still some left but it was hidden, and Brian really didn’t want to go near it again. But this wasn’t the only reason Brian was nervous. He had his final exam which was compulsory to attend, which meant he would have to leave Roger. That wouldn’t be so bad if John and Freddie were there. But Freddie had been called into work and he couldn’t get out of it, because they said he’d had too much time off and threatened to sack him, and John had stayed the night at his parent’s house so he wouldn’t be back until noon.  
So Brian had a choice. He could either attend the exam and leave Roger alone, or stay with Roger and risk his whole degree. Roger insisted he was fine and Brian should go, but he looked awful. He was pale and still shaking, and he had symptoms of what could’ve been mistaken as a really bad case of the flu. But still, Roger pushed at Brian to go, saying he didn’t want him to be the reason Brian failed his degree. So Brian did the only rationale thing he could think of. He called John.  
\-----------------------------------------  
“John?”  
“Hey Brian. Are you okay?” John’s muffled voice said through the phone.   
“Yeah I'm fine. Urm… Do you think you would be able to make it back before noon? Freddie’s been called in to work and can’t get out of it, and I've obviously got my exam which means no one will be with Roger.”  
“Yeah sure Brian. I’ll leave now and I’ll probably make it back by half past ten.”  
“Thank you Deacy. My exam is only two hours so I’ll be back by eleven but I just didn’t want him to be alone all that time y’know?”  
“Yeah I understand. I have to go. I’ll see you in a bit Bri. I hope your exam goes okay.”  
“Thank you. Bye Deacy.”  
\----------------------------------------  
As John was driving home, he hit a bad traffic jam. He cursed loudly.  
‘I’m not going to make it back by half past ten’ he thought.  
He was sure Roger would be okay anyway. He didn’t know where the drug was hidden so there was no way he could use again, and he was too weak to leave the house.  
He bimbled through the traffic, his thumbs drumming on the steering wheel in irritation, whilst also glancing at the time every few minutes.   
By the time he took the turning to their street, it was just about to turn eleven.   
‘Shit I really hope Roger’s okay’ he thought anxiously as he pulled into the car park of their flat.   
John walked up the stairs in a hurry before opening the front door and stepping in. He looked at their apartment and his eyes went wide.  
\---------------------------------------------  
Brian couldn’t concentrate on his exam as all his nerves were spinning around his head, not letting him think about anything other than Roger. He knew Roger was a grown man and could take care of himself, but in his current state, he needed all the support he could get.  
Brian’s eyes flicked to the clock. He only had one minute before it turned eleven. He knew that John had been with Roger for half an hour so he should be okay, otherwise he would’ve known already. But still, Brian couldn’t help tapping his pen nervously on the table, willing the time to go faster.  
As soon a the time was up and his paper was taken, he scrambled out of his seat and grabbed his bag before hurrying home.  
\---------------------------------------------  
John’s first thought was that they’d been robbed. All the furniture had been moved, drawers had been left open, their were drawers and their contents scattered all over the floor. He waited with baited breath, listening for any sign of movement before concluding there was no one else in the house. Then where was Roger?   
“Roger?” he called shakily, but go no reply other than silence.   
He ventured further into the flat, finding it just as messy, but he then he realised nothing had been taken, because if there was, their instruments would not still be there sat in the corner of the living room. He turned the corner to the kitchen and his breath hitched. Roger was lay on his front in the middle of the kitchen floor. John bent down and checked his pulse, and let out a heavy sigh of relief after concluding Roger was still alive, only unconscious. He checked him for any wounds that would indicate why he was unconscious, but couldn’t find any.   
He suddenly heard the front door open and close before an audible gasp. There was then footsteps and Brian appeared in the doorway of the kitchen, his eyes widening in shock.   
“John what happened?”  
“I don’t know. The traffic was really bad so I only just got here … I think we’ve been robbed.”  
Brian approached Roger and knelt down next to him, rolling him onto hid back. He checked his pulse and found it sluggish, which surprised Brian as he traced his eyes over Roger’s body and found no indication for it to be like this. That was until his eyes landed on Roger’s hands. His fingernails had turned a light shade of blue. He immediately pried one of Roger’s eyes open to find his pupil no bigger than a pin. Brian abruptly stood up and made his way to the dining table, leaving a confused John still knelt by Roger. Brian looked under the table to see the tape peeled back and no bag.   
“Shit,” he muttered.  
“What? What’s the matter Brian?” John asked frantically.  
“We weren’t robbed Deacy.”  
“What?” John was confused,  
“Shit he went looking for it and must have found it and took it all at once. The amount left was near enough the amount he used to take, but because he was basically clean, his intolerance isn’t as high… He’s basically OD’d.”  
Brian ran to the phone before dialling 999 then went back to Roger and John.  
“Shit. Shit. Shit. I knew I should’ve just emptied it in the bin,” he mumbled under his breath, tears springing to his eyes when he saw Roger involuntary twitch. “Fucking hell Roger what have you done?”  
He grabbed Roger’s hand in one hand and put his other hand on Roger’s chest, just to reassure himself he was still breathing.

There was a loud bang on the front door.   
“Paramedics. Open up.”  
John ran to the front door and let the paramedics in who assessed the situation. From what Brian could hear, it wasn’t good, and he watched as they placed an oxygen mask over his boyfriend’s face and lifted him onto a stretcher.   
As the paramedics loaded Roger into the ambulance, Brian asked if he could go with them however, they said no as there needed to be room in case Roger stopped breathing.  
So with a sigh, Brian climbed into the car with John, and they followed behind the ambulance.   
“He’ll be okay Bri. He’s strong and he pulled through,” John said, offering Brian a small smile.  
“I hope to god he does. I don’t know what I’d do without him.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't hate me. I promise everything will turn out okay eventually!!
> 
> Also thank you so much for all he kudos and comments. They really encourage me to keep writing :)


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Freddie meets them at the hospital

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter and the next one are a bit angsty, but after that, it should mostly be fluff. I hope you lke this chapter even though it's a bit short. 
> 
>  
> 
> *TRIGGER WARNING*  
> Mentions thoughts of suicide?? it's mentioned briefly by one of the doctors but no acts are done or anything.

Freddie had just finished serving a customer when the phone rang.   
“I’ll get it,” he yelled before grabbing the phone. “Hello?”  
“Freddie?”  
“John why are you calling me when I’m at work?” Freddie was utterly confused. They all agreed not to call each other at work unless absolutely urgent. He heard John breathe out a shaky breath through the phone before replying.   
“It’s Roger. We... we are on our way to the hospital.”  
“What? Why?”  
“He found the bag under the table Fred.”  
“Shit,” Freddie muttered. “Right. I’ll meet you there. If I get sacked for leaving I don’t care, I’d rather make sure my best friend is okay.”  
“Okay Freddie. I’ll see you in a bit then.”  
“Bye Deacy,” Freddie said before placing the phone back down. He then proceeded to walk to the back of the flat where he met his boss. “I’m leaving.”  
“You can’t leave. You’ve missed too much and I can’t pay you any more sick pay,” his boss snarled. Freddie really didn’t like that man.   
“Well I quit then.” And with that, Freddie grabbed his jacket before making a swift exit. He got straight into a taxi and was on his way to the hospital minutes. He sat in the taxi staring out the window before realising the reality of the situation, and buried his face in his hands, choking back a sob. 

———————————-

He got to the hospital and was met with Brian and John sat in the waiting area looking very shaken up. Both of them were silent as Freddie sat next to them.   
“Is he going to be okay?” Freddie whispered.   
“We don’t know. We’ve not seen a doctor yet,” John replied, looking next to him at Freddie, before placing a hand on the other man’s knee.   
“You okay?” Freddie asked his partner.   
“I’m ... okay. It’s not something I particularly want to think about again,” he mumbled before placing his head on Freddie’s shoulder. Freddie then looked over at Brian, who was still silent.   
“How are you Brian?”  
Brian lifted his head to make eye contact with Freddie. Freddie saw that Brian’s eyes were red and puffy as though he’d been crying. Brian gave Freddie a soft smile before sniffling and rubbing at his eyes, obviously willing for his tears to stay put.   
“It’s okay Brian. You’re allowed to cry,” John whispered as his sat up from Freddie’s shoulder.   
At John’s words, Freddie could see the wall Brian was trying to hold up starting to crumble, and he collapsed against John with heart-wrenching sobs. John wrapped his arms around him, and Freddie wrapped his arms around John so that they were all supporting each other.   
“I miss him John. I really miss him and I’m trying my hardest to get him back, but he just keeps leaving me.”   
“We miss him too Brian. Believe me. We don’t have a day where we don’t worry about him either. But don’t put the blame on yourself Brian. And don’t put the blame on Roger. It’s not his fault. He’s going through a very rough time and without the support there at all times, he was pulled into his own mind. And that’s not our fault. And it’s not his. He will come back Brian. We just have to be patient,” John said, soothingly rubbing Brian’s back up and down. 

——————————

A while passed before the doctor approached them. They stood up, their faces questioning.   
“He’s going to be fine,” the doctor said, and they all breathed a sigh of relief.   
“He stopped breathing twice, however we were able to get that under control, so now he just has a nasal cannula. We injected him with Naloxone which basically reversed the affects of the heroin. So now, he just needs to stay for observation. I do need to speak to you though, but in a place that is more private.”   
They followed the doctor to what they presumed was his office, before taking their seats in front of his desk, which he sat behind. 

“So, how long has Mr Taylor been using heroin?”

Brian cleared his throat before speaking up. “He was forced into addiction five years ago but we managed to get him clean. He has recently been triggered by something unknown to us that has made him relapse. Only, we don’t know how long he’s been taking it for, but we found out about it about a week ago.”  
The doctor nodded softly before continuing. “And was this overdose an act of just needing more or an act of suicide?”  
Brian stiffened up. He wasn’t sure. He presumed it was because Roger just craved the heroin so badly , but it never crossed his mind that maybe Roger had done this on purpose.   
“He has been showing signs of depression, but I don’t know whether it was that extreme. He was basically clean before he did this because we had weaned him off it, so we presumed that he just went to take the amount he would’ve taken before, but it had been too much for his body to handle.”

“So you don’t know whether Mr Taylor did it on purpose or not?”

“I am not 100% sure, but I am 99.9% sure he didn’t do it on purpose.” Brian knew that was a bold faced lie. He didn’t know anything. His boyfriend hasn’t mentioned that he physically wanted to take his own life, but Roger hadn’t been talking much lately so Brian wouldn’t know what had been going through his head. 

“Okay,” the doctor said before handing a few leaflets to Brian. “Here are a few leaflets for some rehabilitation centers. I would highly recommend him going to one, however if he doesn’t want to go willingly, you can’t force him.”  
“Thank you,” Brian said, before asking for Roger’s room, and then leaving the office, followed by Freddie and John.   
They made their way down to Roger’s room, the anxiety radiating off them in waves. They approached the room, and Brian was the first to enter, followed by Freddie and John.   
Roger was lay on the hospital bed, and Brian finally got a good look at his ailing boyfriend. Roger looked gaunt, his cheekbones jutted out and his collar bone was easily spotted without needing to look for it. He skin was pale except for the dark circles covering his eyes, and his hair was stuck to his sweaty face, some of the golden strands circling the outline of his face, whilst some were entwined with the nasal cannula.   
Brian’s breath hitched at the sight and he felt like he was going to throw up. John had him in a seat quickly, before he could pass out, and he handed handed him a glass of water, which Brian took gladly. Brian drank the water before bringing his chair closer to Roger, taking the weak hand in his own. He traced his thumb in patterns over Roger’s hand, willing for the blonde to wake up. 

————————————-

A few hours later, Brian felt the hand that was in his grip twitch. He immediately looked at Roger’s face to see his eyes twitching restlessly underneath his lids. Immediately, John and Freddie were by his side too, and they all stood waiting for the drummer to wake up.   
As soon as they were met with Roger’s blue eyes, Brian immediately spotted the fear in them. He could hear the heart monitor next to them slowly get faster. Brian gathered the information in his head before settling on the realisation that Roger was going into a panic attack.   
“Roger it’s okay. You’re okay. I’m here. Deep breaths. Look at me Rog. Focus on me. “.   
At Brian’s words, Roger was able to divert his gaze to Brian’s gentle one.   
“There you go. Now just breathe with me. In... out...”  
This went on for a few minutes before Brian was satisfied that Roger was no longer in danger of a panic attack.   
“It’s okay Rog,” Brian said softly whilst giving Roger’s hand a small squeeze. “You’re in the hospital but you’re going to be okay. Do you ... do you want to talk about it?”  
Brian knew he shouldn’t have pushed so soon, but the words just tumbled out of his mouth, and he watched as Roger yanked his hand free from his and turn over, his back to the others.   
Brian gave a desperate glance to his other band mates, however they were just as unsure on what to do. In their silence, they could hear quiet whimpers escape from the blonde on the bed, and Brian realised that Roger was crying. And then it turned into heart wrenching sobs as his body shook and he curled himself into a ball. Brian quickly made his way round to the other side of the bed so that Roger was facing him.   
“Roger I need you to talk to me. Please. I need to be able to help you,” he said softly , crouching down to eye level.   
Roger peeked his head up to look at Brian before burying his head again, mumbling “I’m sorry.”  
“Roger?”  
“I didn’t mean it. I just needed it so so badly and I-I know I shouldn’t but I just couldn’t help myself. Please don’t be angry with me Brian,” Roger rambled in between sobs.   
Brian sighed. “I’m not angry Roger. Just a bit disappointed. You were doing so well.”  
“I know. I’m sorry.”  
Brian went to pull Roger into a hug but stopped when Roger flinched back.   
“I’m sorry. Please ... please don’t touch me.”   
Brian was taken aback. Even though Roger had recently been less affectionate, he had allowed small things like a hug. Brian was just very confused, and after standing to look at the other two, they were as well.   
“Okay Rog. I won’t.”  
Roger continued to silently cry to himself, still curled up in a ball, but there was nothing Brian could do to comfort him. Brian sat with Freddie and John and they waited for Roger’s breathing to even out, before letting out tears of their own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well the next chapter should reveal what has triggered Roger. 
> 
> I hope you have liked the story so far :)


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roger is discharged from the hospital, and he has released some information that he’s been keeping to himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to update this way earlier but I’ve been so busy it got delayed. This chapter will finally reveal what’s been going on with Roger.
> 
>  
> 
> *TRIGGER WARNING*  
> Implied past abuse, implied cutting and implied drugs abuse

The next day, Roger was discharged from the hospital on terms that the others had to take care of him. Roger hadn’t said a word since the conversation the day before, and Brian was worried. He didn’t want Roger to distance himself again. And Brian knew he couldn’t let that happen. He had to get Roger to talk, because that was the only way he could think of that would give him any indication on how to help his boyfriend.  
Brian waited for Roger to get changed, because he wouldn’t leave him alone, before making their way out of the hospital room.  
Brian stayed close to his partner, but still made no physical contact, unsure of the response he’ll get. As they got into the lift and stood next to each other as the door closed, Brian looked at Roger, who was staring ahead of him.  
“I love you.”  
Roger turned his head to Brian and only replied with a soft smile. To any other person, they would’ve thought that Roger had ignored Brian’s comment, brushing it off, but for Brian, it was as if everything suddenly got a bit brighter. Even if it was just a little. Roger replying with just a smile was more than enough for Brian to know that he didn’t have to worry about their relationship. 

——————-  
Freddie and John met them back at home. They had cleaned up what Roger had done, making sure everything was put back where it was meant to be. Their gazes landed on Roger simultaneously, and he started to get uncomfortable under their stare. Brian noticed and turned to Roger.  
“Do you want to go to bed love? You could use some sleep.”  
Roger only nodded before disappearing down the hall, Brian following him and waiting until Roger fell asleep.  
Once he was sure his boyfriend wouldn’t wake up anytime soon, Brian went back into the living room where he met Freddie and John curled up against each other on the sofa. Freddie turned his head to Brian and arched his eyebrow, silently asking if everything’s okay. Brian only sighed before sitting in the arm chair opposite them. The other two sat up straight then, twisting their bodies towards Brian.  
“I think ... I think we need to make a rota. We need to make sure Roger is with someone all the time. I know there’s no drugs in the house, but he might sneak out again. And he also might start cutting more and I don’t want that to happen. So I think if we share the duties between the three of us, it will keep him safe.”  
Freddie and John paused before nodding. They wanted to do everything they could in order for their drummer to get better.  
———————-  
They sat around the dining room table, Brian with a piece of paper and a pen.  
“Well I’ll do nights,” Brian said. “I can be a light sleeper when I want to so I’ll know straight away if he’s out of bed.”  
“Okay that sounds good,” Freddie replied. “Me and John will take most of the days then when we aren’t working.”  
“Okay,” Brian said before scribbling down what looked to be a schedule. He copied it out three times so they had one each.  
“We need to keep this as subtle as possible. I don’t want him to become uncomfortable because we’re worried.”  
The others nodded and grabbed their schedules some Brian.  
“I guess I should be going up. I know he probably won’t wake up because he’s exhausted but better be safe than sorry,” Brian said before getting up from the table, saying his goodnights. 

Once he was in the bedroom, he could hear Roger’s soft snores filling the room. He quickly stripped down to his boxers and climbed into the bed next to his boyfriend. He was so desperate to just hug him. Or kiss him. Or even touch him.  
He really needed to figure out what was going on.  
————————  
A few nights later, Brian couldn’t sleep. He just lay next to Roger, facing the ceiling, listening to the breaths of the blonde next to him. After a while, he could hear the breaths become uneven, and then heard a stifled sob. He rolled over facing the back of his lover.  
“Roger?” He whispered gently.  
“I’m sorry.”  
Brian was confused. “What?”  
“I’m so sorry Brian.”  
“What for?” Brian asked, confusion settling on his face.  
Roger rolled over to face him and Brian could see the tears falling from his eyes.  
“Everything,” came the whispered response. “I just... I just don’t know what to do anymore Brian. I just want it all to go away.”  
“Oh Rog. Love, you need to talk to me. You need to tell me what’s going on. That’s the only way I can help you.”  
Roger sniffled before another sob broke through his trembling lips.  
“Roger ... why don’t you want affection?” Brian asked warily.  
A few minutes past until Roger replied. “I don’t think I’m worth it.”  
“Roger what’s made you think that? I love you so very much, and so do Freddie and Deacy. Don’t think like that. I promise you are worthy of all the affection anyone could ever give a person.”  
“Brian don’t lie to me. I don’t deserve you. You’re a kind, mature, loving person and I’m the complete opposite. I’m not letting you touch me or kiss me so then it will be easier for me to let you go when you realise you don’t need a dumb slut bugging you all the time.”  
“Roger where has this come from? I would never leave you and you know that. And you’re not a dumb slut.”  
“But I can’t help but think that Brian,” Roger sobbed.  
Brian let out a soft sigh as Roger’s crying continued. “Roger, you need to tell me the trigger for all of this. It’s the only way I can help you.”

A while past, and Brian was thinking maybe Roger wasn’t going to reply, before he heard a tiny, mumbled answer.  
“Tim.”  
“Tim? As in your ex boyfriend Tim?”  
Roger nodded before continuing. “It was a few weeks ago, a-after a gig. I went out back f-for a cigarette. And he ... he was there.” Roger paused momentarily before letting a such a loud sob that Brian almost couldn’t hear his heart breaking.  
“It was horrible Brian. He cornered me, calling me the usual names he used to, that I’m just a filthy slut, that all I’m good f-for is a good shag. He then put his hands on either side of the wall I was stood against so I was t-trapped. I-I was trapped Brian. He b-bent down to kiss me but I punched him in the gut. He doubled over a-and I was able to escape him. B-but he was yelling that I’d never be able to hide away from him, that he will always find me, and that he w-won’t let me go this time.” Roger’s breathing had picked up so fast that Brian was beginning to get scared that the smaller man would hyperventilate. However this worry was clouded over by the things Roger had just said. Roger had just gotten himself into a stable relationship after years of building himself back up again. And now he could see that the wall Roger had built to fix everything, was slowly beginning to crumble. And Roger had actually give him the reason why. Even after everything he had been through, Brian was shocked to find Roger had that must trust in him. As his mind slipped back into reality, he realised Roger wasn’t breathing properly, and after taking one look at him, he had determined that Roger was having a panic attack.  
Brian sat up to face Roger dead on, creating strong eye contact.  
“It’s okay Rog. You’re okay. Nothing will hurt you here. I promise.” Brian continued to spill these words of encouragement until Roger calmed down. 

After a while, Brian spoke up.  
“Rog can... can I hug you?”  
To his disappointment, Roger shook his head and buried his head deeper into his pillow.  
Brian thought for a moment before giving another suggestion.  
“Can I hold your hand then?”  
A few beats past before Roger gingerly nodded. Brian smiled and brought his hand down to Roger’s where they entangled their fingers.  
Roger fell asleep like that, and Brian smiled. He finally felt one step closer into helping heal Roger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like this chapter. The next one will be up soon. Kudos and comments are very appreaciated :)


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian offers to take Roger to see a doctor, and all the flatmates engage in conversations that involve a few tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really not good at keeping on top of things. I was meant to post this a few days ago. Sorry for the wait.
> 
>  
> 
> *TRIGGER WARNING*  
> Mentions of past abuse, drug abuse

The next morning, Brian slowly awoke. He snuggled into the warmth of the duvet, wanting nothing more than to snuggle with the man lying next to him, but he kept his distance. Their hands were still entwined together, and it made Brian’s heart stutter with happiness that Roger hadn’t yanked his hand away in the night. Brian gently rubbed his thumb over the smaller hand, humming with content at how Roger looked so relaxed when he was asleep. It was as if nothing had ever happened. There was no lines on his face from sadness or anger or even pain. His face had softened and created something that Brian could only describe as angel-like. Brian has such desire to just pull Roger in closer and bury his face into his neck. But he didn’t want to push. Especially as they were starting to make progress.    
The blonde stirred next to him and rolled over so that he was facing Brian. Brian gave a soft smile as Roger’s eyes blearily peered up at him.   
“Good morning Rog,” Brian whispered.   
Roger gave a small smile back. “Good morning Bri.”  
Brian was still dancing his thumb against the back of Roger’s hand, not wanting to let go anytime soon.   
“How are you feeling today?” Brian murmured. Roger continued to stare at Brian, his face blank, but shrugging his shoulder flitting his eyes away from Brian. Brian could see that Roger was starting to shake a little, and there was sweat layering his face and hair. ‘Ah, the withdrawal’ Brian thought bitterly, not wanting to go through the second round, but he knew he would because he loved Roger too much to let him go through it alone.   
Brian sighed softly. “Roger I’ve been thinking...” Roger was now looking at Brian again, a questioning look on his face.   
“Maybe... I think maybe you should see a doctor.”   
Roger eyes widened before shaking his head, his grip on Brian’s hand loosening, but not completely letting go.   
“Rog I know it sounds scary but I promise they will help. Me and the others, there’s only so much we can do for you. I want you to get better. I want to be able to see the lively, annoying, affectionate Roger again. The Roger that clung to my side all hours of the day. The Roger who would place sweet kisses on my cheek whenever he thought something I did was cute. The Roger that flew of the handle at any given moment if he didn’t get his way, but would soften the moment I placed a kiss on his lips. I want my boyfriend, who would let me hold him at night, and believe all the good things I’d tell him. I need you back Roger. But I think you need help to get there. Professional help.“ Brian looked into Roger’s eyes and saw tears building up. As Roger blinked, the tears rolled down his face, and he slowly shook his head, and looked down.   
“Roger,” Brian whispered, placing a hand under his boyfriend’s chin, and using his thumb to steadily wipe the tears away.   
“If you won’t do it for you, do it for me.”  
Brian knew it probably wasn’t nice of him to force Roger into that position, but he didn’t want Roger drowning in the pit of his depression forever, and Brian had tried. He really had. But Roger needed help that was way beyond his capabilities. He had already abandoned the idea of rehab. Last time, they had tried to force Roger to go but he refused. There was no way on earth he would want to go this time either. So Brian only mentioned it briefly. And as soon as it was shot down, Brian had left it at that.   
“Okay,” came the whispered reply, and Brian beamed. He was so proud of Roger. He knew that was a massive step and wanted nothing more than to squeeze him in a hug, so instead he adjusted his grip on Roger’s hand and squeezed lightly, silently reassuring Roger that it would be okay. Whilst Brian was lost in thought of how happy he was, he failed to notice that Roger had closed the distance between them, until he felt the warmth of another body next to him. He turned his head, pure love in his eyes as he met blue ones. He saw Roger smile softly, only the corners of his mouth turning up slightly, as they continued their gaze.   
It abruptly stopped when Roger let out a soft sigh before sitting up, moving his legs to get out of bed.   
“Where are you going?”  
Roger stood up and peered back at Brian.   
“Coffee,” was the only statement Brian received, which made him chuckle.   
Brian decided he may as well follow Roger, so slowly got out of the comfort of his bed before following the blonde downstairs.   
   
They were met with Freddie and John, who were talking quietly together in the kitchen, waiting for the coffee machine to finish. They looked up with a smile as their two flatmates entered the room. Brian smiled back at them, but noticed Roger was darting his eyes away from any eye contact, and was making his way towards the coffee machine. He got four cups out and continued to make coffee for the four of them once the coffee was done.   
Freddie shot a confused look at Brian, who sent one back, before turning to Roger.   
“Roger dear I’ll do that,” he started before cutting himself off with the stern look Roger sent him. To Brian, Roger obviously was trying to be nice, trying to be helpful. But he was sick of everyone walking on eggshells around him. Which was what Freddie was trying to do. Therefore, Brian didn’t counteract Roger’s actions, only accepted his cup when Roger offered it.   
As soon as Roger had given everyone their cups with shaky hands, he moved past them all with his own coffee, planting himself on the sofa in the living room.   
Brian, John and Freddie were left in the kitchen, not really knowing what do with the situation thy were in. So they stood silently, sipping their coffees.   
After a while, Brian spoke up. “I’m going to ring the doctors today. See if I can book him an appointment.”  
“That’s a good idea Brian. I’m sure they’ll be much more helpful than us,” John said softly, before his gaze landed on the drummer who was currently with his head down facing his coffee cup. He had made no attempt to drink it.   
Brian sighed. “I hope so.”  
\----------------------------------  
Brian had scheduled an appointment for the next day. It was the earliest he could get, but at least he had enough time to prepare Roger.  
Currently, Brian was sat with John in the living room, the tv plying in the background as Brian’s thoughts clouded his mind. Brian was hoping that by seeing a doctor, a plan could be made for Roger that will let them help him get better. Will he have to have medication? Will he have to eat differently? Would he have to change his lifestyle? Brian shook his head, clearing his brain of questions he didn’t have the answers too.   
“How are you Bri?” John asked, turning his body to face Brian, so Brian did the same.   
“I’m okay.”  
“No you’re not. You don’t have to lie to me Brian. I can see how this is draining you. Hell, I haven’t seen you smile properly in over a week. You need to talk to me Brian.”  
Brian looked at John, contemplating whether he should say the truth or not. He decided that he wasn’t going to lie to his friend. There were too many lies already, and Brian couldn’t deal with another being exposed. So he told the truth.  
“I feel like I’m failing him John. He’s slowly getting better now he has let me know what’s triggered him, but I-”  
“Wait, what triggered him?” John asked, cutting Brian off.  
“Tim,” Brian mumbled.   
“Tim? As in his ex-boyfriend Tim?”  
“Yeah.”  
“That fucker,” John spat, venom seeping through his voice. “What did he do?”  
Brian was taken aback by John’s lack of calmness. John was always the one grounding everyone in bad situations, so Brian did not expect the anger radiating from John. “He- Tim cornered Roger outside one of our gigs the other week, shouting all kinds of crap at him before trying to kiss him. But Roger ended up punching him one before he was able to do it. Then as Roger was getting away, Tim shouted that he won’t leave Roger this time, so now not only has it triggered memories from his abuse, it has been reinforced by the words Tim had aimed at him.” Brian realised he was crying and angrily wiped the tears away. “So now Roger fucking believes all the things Tim had called him, and he’s tr-trying to pull away so that ‘when’ we leave him, it won’t hurt so much. I just can’t believe all of this has happened because that twat couldn’t keep away.”  
John pulled Brian in for a hug, and Brian relished in the fact that he was actually close to someone. He had been so desperate for closeness from Roger, that he forgot the comfort his other two flatmates could give him. It obviously wasn’t the same kind of affection, it was friendly, and showed each other that they would always be there when they needed them the most.  
Brian sobbed into John’s shoulder as John carded his fingers through Brian’s dark curls.   
“It will be alright Brian. This doctor will give him the help he needs, and hopefully we will soon see the old Roger again. And as for Tim… if any of us ever see him again, you and me both know he’ll be unconscious before he hits the ground.”  
Brian gave a small chuckle at that before pulling away from John, rubbing away his tears.  
“Thank you Deacy.”  
\-------------------------------------  
“Roger the doctor will fix everything. I’m sure of it. You may not be back to 100% but 99% is good enough isn’t it?”  
No answer.  
Freddie felt like he was talking to a brick wall. It was his turn to look after Roger. However, aforementioned drummer was lying on his bed with his back to Freddie, curled up in a ball. And everything Freddie said, trying to get Roger to engage with him, ended up with silence.  
Freddie sighed softly. “I miss you Roger. I don’t want you to shut me out. I’ve known you longer than both Brian and Deacy, and I hate seeing you this way. Please Roger.”  
After a while, Freddie could hear small whimpering sounds coming from the blonde, before a sob escaped his lips. Roger rolled over so he was facing Freddie, tears streaming down his face.   
“Oh Roger,” Freddie whispered, gently wiping Roger’s tears away with his thumb. “Darling, I promise you will be alright.”  
\--------------------------------------  
That night Brian got into bed next to Roger, the warmth from the bed making him sleepy. He rolled so he was facing Roger, who he was sure was asleep. He stared at the blonde for a while, taking in his appearance. Brian noticed that Roger’s face looked sunken in, maybe even more than what he looked like in the hospital. ‘Something to work on,’ Brian noted, creating a plan in his head on encouraging Roger to eat more.   
Suddenly, Roger shifted closer to Brian, closing the gap entirely, before snuggling his face into the older man’s chest.   
“Hold me Brian.”  
Brian was so surprised he nearly missed what Roger said. He gently placed his arms around the blonde, holding him tight, never wanting to let go.  
“I hope you know I love you Brian.”  
“Of course I do. I love you too Roger."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys liked his chapter. The next one will be up soon and their is an encounter with Tim where he may or may not get what he deserves. 
> 
> Thank you so much for all the comments. They mean so much to me when I read them and know you like my writing :)
> 
> Also, I've got a new series I've been working on, and the first chapter will be up tonight.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roger goes to his doctor's appointment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really should've posted this earlier but I have been having a rough time at the minute and it was very hard to find the motivation to finish this chapter. I'm mostly okay now so I will start writing the next chapter, which should be up Monday or Tuesday. This chapter is a long one but we are nearing the end of the story. Thank you for all your lovely comments :) I hope you enjoy this chapter.  
>    
> *TRIGGER WARNING*  
> Mentions of past abuse, violence, past drug abuse

Brian was tired. He rubbed his eyes, urging the feeling to just go back to sleep away. He was sat in bed, Roger next to him, but he basically hadn’t had any sleep. He was up all night helping Roger as he threw up in the toilet. John and Freddie had also got out of bed to check what was wrong, but Brian reassured them, the same as last time, that he could handle it. He didn’t want them to miss out on sleep as well. Even though he was sure they didn’t sleep all that well anyway, knowing they were in for not such a great day the next morning, now that Roger’s withdrawal had finally kicked in at full speed, especially as he had to go cold turkey.   
Roger was mumbling in his sleep, and Brian turned to look at him, before moving a piece of his blonde hair from his sweaty forehead. Brian smiled softly then stifled a yawn. He swung his legs out of bed and stood up, his head swimming slightly due to the lack of sleep.  
“I need coffee,” he groaned, rubbing his head. Then with a quick glance back at Roger, he made his way downstairs to the kitchen, where he was met with John and Freddie looking at a newspaper together, John practically sitting in Freddie’s lap.   
Brian yawned and headed straight for the coffee pot, pouring himself a mug, before sitting opposite to John and Freddie.   
“Brian you look tired,” Freddie acknowledged. “Did you sleep at all?”  
Brian only grunted, taking a sip of his coffee.  
“How is he?” John asked.   
Brian let out a heavy breath before his weary eyes made eye contact with the two pairs that were staring at him. “He hasn’t thrown up in about two hours and he’s been asleep for one and a half.”  
“Okay. That’s… good I guess. I just hope he will stay asleep,” John replied.  
Brian sighed before finishing off his coffee. “He can’t. He’s got his doctor’s appointment in an hour and I need to get him ready.”   
The other two only nodded as Brian made his way out of the kitchen and up the stairs. He cracked open his bedroom door to see Roger exactly where he was before, snoring softly into the pillow his face was buried in. Brian sat next to him before moving the blonde hair out of the way so that he could see Roger’s face. He tapped him on the arm gently, receiving a disapproving face from the drummer.  
“Come on Rog, you need to get up.”  
At this, a bloodshot blue eye was cracked open giving Brian a confused glance.  
“Doctors appointment,” was all Brian said before a frustrated groan came from the blonde.  
“Come on Roger, you promised me you’d go.”  
He heard Roger sigh before he sat up, Brian then helping him stand up so that he could get changed. He was wobbly on his feet and Brian had to hold Roger as he swayed, so he decided to just change Roger himself. He slipped him into a pair of joggers and a loose fitting top, before giving Roger one of his own hoodies. Roger smiled a little at that. Brian knew that he loved to wear his jumpers, especially when he was ill.   
Once Roger was dressed, Brian took his shaky hand and led him downstairs to he kitchen to get him a glass of water. Freddie and John were still there and smiled at Roger. Roger smiled slightly back before averting his gaze to Brian. Brian offered him the glass of water and he accepted it gratefully, but only took small sips at a time because there was sill the lingering sensation of nausea swirling around in his stomach. After he had finished, Brian then led him back upstairs where he brushed his teeth and tried to do something with his hair that didn’t make it look like a sweaty mess. Brian thought that maybe he should’ve made him have a shower, but because Roger was struggling to stand by himself, it would mean Brian would have to get in to, and he was too tired and, most likely, so was Roger.   
When Roger turned around with a questioning glance, obviously asking Brian if he looked suitable enough to venture out into the public, Brian couldn’t help but notice that Roger was very pale, and his bloodshot eyes didn’t do anything to help the bags under them. He gave Roger a small nod, knowing he wasn’t going to look any better than that when he was feeling so ill.  
Brian once again grabbed Roger’s hand before leading him back down the stairs, saying a goodbye to their band mates, before getting in the car.  
\------------------------------------------------  
The whole car ride, Roger was completely silent, not breaking his stare from out the window. As they pulled into the car park, Brian shot him a worried glance. He knew this was going to be hard for Roger. He unbuckled his seat belt and went to open the door when a hand closed around his wrist, it’s grip like a vice. Brian turned to the drummer to see his eyes wide and his lip trembling.  
“Brian I don’t want to,” Roger whispered, lowering his head.  
He knew Roger would try to back out of it, and he couldn’t blame him. If he was in the same situation, he would too.   
Brian softly cupped Roger’s chin, lifting his head up so their eyes met. “Yes you can,” he encouraged.  
“I can’t,” Roger whispered meekly. In that moment, Brian wanted to do nothing more than bundle Roger up in his arms and take him home, but he knew he had to do this. It was the only step forward.  
“Yes. You can,” Brian said before placing a soft kiss on Roger’s forehead. That was as close to a kiss Roger had let Brian give him in a long time, and Brian’ s heart swelled when Roger didn’t reject it. Brian held out his hand and Roger took it.

\---------------------------------------------------  
Roger didn’t want Brian to go into the appointment room with him, so he was sat in the waiting room, his knees bobbing up and down as he elbows rested on them. He could understand why Roger didn’t want him in there. He was going to talk about some pretty personal stuff that, even as his boyfriend, Brian didn’t need to know.   
The appointment last around twenty minutes, and Brian stood up abruptly, his nerves getting the better of him as the door opened and Roger walked out. He had his head down, and Brian could hear him sniffling, which made him conclude that he had been crying, and from the look of him, he was still upset.   
Roger walked up to Brian, grabbed his hand, and thoroughly pulled him out of the doctors clinic.  
As soon as they were in the car, Roger burst into tears, keeling over and sobbing into his hands. Brian moved him so that Roger could cry into his chest. He rubbed soothing circles over his back, and started to hum a soft tune. Eventually, Roger calmed down.  
“What did they say?” Brian asked quietly.  
Roger sat up slightly, taking a folded piece of paper out of his pocket, before handing it to Brain, and snuggling back down against his chest. Brian opened the piece of paper and realised it was a prescription. He skipped the first bit until he got to where it said diagnosis.

Severe depression.

Brian sniffed quietly, trying to hold back his tears. He then also saw that Roger had been prescribed some anti-depressants, and had been advised to see a therapist. He could hear Roger sobbing quietly, and Brian stroked his hair. “It’s okay Rog. You’ll get through this,” Brian murmured into the blonde hair before kissing it lightly. “Do you want me to drop you off at home before I go and get your meds?”   
Roger nodded and wiped his tears away, Brian still stroking his hair.

\------------------------------------------------------  
When they arrived back at the flat, Brian assisted Roger out of the car and into the flat, where they were met with a very worried Freddie and John. Roger dumped himself onto the sofa, Freddie sitting next to him.   
“I’ve got to go and pick his meds up,” Brian mumbled. “I won’t be long.”  
“I’ll go with you,” John said as he stood up to grab his coat. They made eye contact and Brian silently thanked John for not making him go alone, as he didn’t think he would be able to keep himself together by himself.  
They left Roger curled up in Freddie’s lap, and headed to the pharmacy. They didn’t take the car because it was only a five minute walk. 

“Brian, what did they say?”  
“Severe depression. I mean, it’s not a complete surprise, I was guessing it was something along the lines of that.”  
John nodded in a silent agreement.   
The rest of the walk was in silence, but it was comfortable, and Brian much preferred the peace.

Once they were at the pharmacy, Brian handed in the prescription, and a few minutes later received a bag of tablets for Roger. He thanked the woman behind the counter, and him and John made their way out. John noticed that Brian’s hand was shaking slightly around the bag, so he placed his own hand over Brian’s, stopping their walking. Brian looked up at him and John could see the emotions he was trying to keep hidden. 

“It’s okay Brian. He’ll be okay,” John said softly, before giving Brian’s hand a squeeze and then letting go.   
They continued walking when suddenly Brian stopped, his breathe hitching, and his eyes widened. John looked at him confused before tracing his eyeline to a man walking along the other side of the street. Anger started bubbling in John then. It wasn’t just a random man. 

It was Tim. 

John did nothing but follow Brian as he sprinted across the road. Tim turned to them, his confused face turning into a smirk as he realised who the other two were.

“Brian? Well I haven’t seen you in a while. How have you been?” Tim said in some sort of attempt at mockery.  
Brian’s hands balled into fists at his sides.   
“Oh wait I almost forgot… How’s your little slut?”  
That was the breaking point for Brian. In a split second, Tim’s head whipped to the side, blood trickling lightly from a cut on his cheek, the repercussions of Brian’s punch. John was soon to shoot another blow, and Tim stumbled back, fire in his eyes. Brian went for another punch, but Tim anticipated it. He dodged it before he punched John smack on the jaw. John stumbled back, a bit dazed, whilst Tim chuckled to himself. As Tim was distracted by his new found confidence, Brian was quick to tear it to pieces as he punched him so hard it sent him to one knee, only this time, Brian didn’t relent and continued to pummel Tim until he was a bloody mess on the floor, only stopping when John dragged him away. They walked back towards the house before Brian stopped to sit on the curb, his head in his hands, sobbing. John sat next to him quietly. He took one of Brian’s hands and inspected the damage. It was bleeding where the skin had split against his knuckled, and there were a few scratches and grazes, but John knew they were an easy fix with some ice and some anti-septic.   
“Are you okay?” John asked him quietly once Brian’s sobs had mostly subsided.   
“I’m fine,” Brian mumbled, lifting his head to look at John. “Are you okay? You are the one that got punched.”  
John had completely forgotten about the throbbing of his jaw, too preoccupied with Brian. “I’m okay. It doesn’t hurt that much.” He stood up then, offering his hand. Brian wiped his tears with his palms before taking John’s offer. John patted him on the back lightly, before continuing the walk home in silence. 

\-------------------------------------  
They opened the door to a crashing sound.   
‘What the hell?’ Brian thought as he and John shuffled through the door quietly. They stood together silently by the door, listening for anymore noises. Freddie’s frantic voice met their ears.   
“Roger you need to calm down.”  
“I can’t, I can’t, I can’t...” Roger’s sobbed mantra was heard by Brian who was quick to run towards the voice. He found them in the kitchen, smashed plated and cups on the floor and counters, with Roger sat with his knees to his chest on the floor, desperately pulling at his hair. Freddie was knelt next to him, looking up as Brian came into the room, his eyes pleading for Brian to help. Brian made his way over, kneeling down the other side of Roger, taking his hands away from his hair and gripping them in his own.  
“What’s the matter Rog?”  
Roger was mumbling into his knees so Brian had to lean forward.   
“I need it, I need it, I need it...” Brian exchanged glances with Freddie, who was looking just as worried as he was.  
“No you don’t Roger. You can get through this yourself,” Brian said softly.   
Roger abruptly stood up, yanking his hands out of Brian’s grip before stumbling away from them. What caused the others to be alarmed was the fact he was heading straight for the front door.   
John was still in the living room, picking up things from the floor that had been thrown, when Roger stumbled past him.   
“Shit John grab him,” Freddie shouted as he and Brian scrambled out of the kitchen. John was quick to grab Roger from behind, but even in his weakened state, Roger was still very strong and was desperately trying to get free of John’s grip. Freddie was quick to join him, holding Roger from the other side so there was no way for him to escape. Roger still struggled.  
Brian stood straight in front of Roger, making eye contact. “Roger you can do this. You don’t need it. You’ve just got to get through today and tomorrow and then the worst will be over.”  
Roger was frantically shaking his head from side to side.   
Brian grabbed Roger’s face between his hands to make him look at him. “Listen to me Roger. You can do this. I am not going to let you throw your life away when you’ve got so much to live for. And I know you don’t see it right now, but you will. It will just take time. But me, and John and Freddie, we will help you every step of the way. You need to calm down and let us help you.”  
Roger stopped shaking his head and just stared at Brian. For a long while, Brian wasn’t sure if Roger would still try to leg it if the other two let go, so they all just stood there in silence, until eventually, Roger crumpled under the hands that were holding him, and sobbed. Brian flew in quickly, taking Roger out of the other two’s arms, as the younger man broke down. He held him tight against his chest, whispering soothing words into his ears until Roger started to calm down. Brian stood up and gathered Roger into his arms, before carrying him upstairs, leaving John and Freddie alone.  
After the shock had died down, Freddie turned to John and only just noticed the bruise that was blooming across his jaw line. He took John’s face in his hands, inspecting the bruise closer.   
“What happened?”  
John gulped back the anger that was starting to reappear now he was thinking about the events that had happened earlier in the day. “We ran into Tim,” he stuttered with a shaky breath.   
Freddie’s breath hitched. “Did he do this to you?”  
“Yeah, but only after I’d punched him first,” John answered with a small smile. Freddie gave a small chuckle before turning serious again.   
“What happened to him?” he asked.  
“Brian,” was all the answer John gave before cracking into a smile. Freddie mimicked it, and chuckled again, before standing up and going into the kitchen. He came back with an ice pack, which he then gingerly held on John’s jaw. John looked at his boyfriend and felt such love in that moment. He lent in and placed a soft kiss on Freddie’s lips before pulling back and smiling.   
“I love you Freddie,” he said, placing his head in the other man’s lap.   
“I love you too John.”

 

\-------------------------------------------  
At dinner, Brian and Roger came down, the blonde still shaking, but he had a bit more colour in his face, and was in a better frame of mind. They sat down at the table with Freddie opposite them, as John brought out the pasta he had made, and then sat next to Freddie. Brian dished it out, and they all tucked in, except Roger, who as usual, was still staring at his plate. However, to their surprise, he eventually took a bite, and then another, and then another. When he stopped, he had eaten at least a quarter of his plate. Brian had a look of surprise on his face as he looked at Roger, then back at the other two. They looked at him and smiled. Brian felt so happy in that moment. That was a big step for Roger, especially as he was still ill, and Brian couldn’t be prouder. He pulled Roger into a hug, kissing the blonde hair. Roger accepted the hug and wrapped his arms around the older man. Brian thought he could stay like this forever, wrapped around his boyfriend in a way that let them both know they loved each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading this chapter!! There will only be a few more then we've reached the end. Please let me know your thoughts in the comments. I love reading them, even if they are only short.  
> Next chapter will be up soon :)


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay basically i have no excuse other than I sort of lost interest in this, which is why it's taken me so long to finish it. I am sorry for those of you that wanted it to go on for longer, but unfortunately I have no more ideas.  
> Anyway, this is the last chapter! It has only taken me three months but I've finally finished it!  
> Please do let me know if you've liked this story, and do check out my knew one 'Leaving Home Ain't Easy' :)
> 
> *TRIGGER WARNING*  
> Mentions of past abuse, past drug addiction and past self harm.

A few weeks had passed, and things were actually starting to look up. Brian was sat at the kitchen table, newspaper in hand, boyfriend cuddled into his side, and he couldn’t have felt happier. He couldn’t feel Roger’s shakes from left over withdrawal, as it had faded in the passing time. He didn’t have to look into blood shot eyes every morning, because they were now back to their normal, vibrant blue that Brian had missed so much. And Brian couldn’t be any more thankful for the medication that Roger had been prescribed. Roger had become a lot more happier, it was nearly as if nothing had happened. Nearly. Even though the drummer was smiling a lot more, and ventured into conversations a lot more often, he still wasn’t as affectionate as he once was. Brian missed that about his boyfriend. He missed the morning kiss and the hugs from behind, and most of all he missed the sex. But he didn’t know how to approach Roger about it. He didn’t want him to feel as if he was being forced, or that he was making Brian miserable. Because he wasn’t. Brian loved Roger, and would wait for him as long as he needed him too. 

Roger shifted next to him, obviously trying to be discreet about trying to read over Brian’s shoulder at the newspaper. Brian only smiled, placing a light kiss on top of blonde hair, receiving a sleepy smile in response.  
Their silence was interrupted by the front door slamming open, followed by Freddie’s shrill voice emerging through the flat.  
“Food has arrived!”

\------------------------------------------------------------------------  
They all sat around the table, happily eating their Chinese takeaway. They contently chatted about little things, the odd laugh being thrown around before Brian finished his plate. He glanced over at Roger to see that he had finished as well. And by that, he had finished everything on his plate. Brian couldn’t help the huge grin that spread across his face. This had been the second time Roger had finished his whole plate, and Brian couldn’t be prouder of his boyfriend.  
He placed a hand on the drummer’s thigh, making the blonde meet his gaze. Roger immediately returned the smile. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------  
As soon as they had finished dinner, both couples resigned themselves to their rooms. Brian got changed before getting into bed. He watched as Roger got changed in front of him, and not in the bathroom. He saw that Roger’s arms were healing nicely, and you would only see the small dots there if you knew they were there. His legs were also healing. Some of the cuts had scarred, and some of them were still scabbed over and a bit red, but Brian saw no need for concern. Once Roger was changed, he slid into bed next to Brian and wrapped himself around the older man. They sat in silence or a while, just drinking in each other’s presence.  
“Bri?”  
Brian turned his head to look at the blonde. “Rog?”  
“Thank you,” Roger said with a small smile.  
“For what?” Brian asked, his face contorting in confusion.  
“For everything. I don’t think I’d be here without you Brian.”  
Brian smiled before slowly leaning down to Roger’ slips. He waited to see if Roger moved away, and when he didn’t, he pressed their lips together. What he wasn’t expecting was for Roger to try to continue kissing him once he’d pulled away. Roger kept kissing Brian on the lips before moving down to his neck.  
“Rog are you sure?” Brian breathed.  
Roger moved so he was straddling Brian before leaning down to kiss him. When he pulled away, he lingered close to Brian’s face before whispering, “I’m sure.”

They took it slow and gentle, still not used to having each other this close again. But afterwards, Brian could fully admit that he was glad he waited. To have the whole of Roger back made him so happy. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Brian fell back against the pillows, breathing heavily as Roger lay down next to him, a hand on his chest.  
“I’ve missed you,” Brian mumbled, taking Roger’s hand and kissing each finger.  
“I’ve missed you too Bri.”

They lay together for a long while. Roger traced patterns into Brian’s skin as Brian stroked his fingers through Roger’s hair.  
Roger stopped tracing, looking up at Brian before propping himself up on Brian’s chest so he could look at the older man’s face properly.  
“You promise you still love me?”  
Brian knew that Roger would still be insecure, he didn’t expect him to be healed overnight.  
“I promise,” Brian reassured him. “Do you promise you still love me?”  
“Always,” Roger said with a lazy grin. “I could never stop loving you Brian May.”  
Brian chuckled, placing a chaste kiss onto the blonde man’s lips. “I couldn’t ever stop loving you either Roger Taylor.”

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know what you think in the comments. I don't mind if you have any criticism. Kudos are also appreciated :)


End file.
